"A tractor on aviation fuel."

That's how Dewi Morris described Rupeni Caucaunibuca (or Caucau as he is affectionatley known) during the weekend's Heineken Cup action on Sky Sports. Veteran World Cup winner Mike Tindall said 'Quite honestly he is the best player I have ever played against.'

It's hard to overstate the freakish nature of Caucau's natural talent and ability. He is one of those once in a generation sportsmen. He arrived in France from Auckland Blues in 2004 and made an instant impact. Top try scorer in France's Top 14 for 2004/05 and 2005/06, last October he was named France's Rugby Player of the year. Quite an accolade for a foreign sportsman plying his trade in France. Despite his habit of going absent without leave during preseason for both club and country, the Fijian's star has continued to rise and has been capped with some mercurial displays this season. At only 26, I have no doubt he is a more gifted player than Jonah Lomu, a player who still receives unwarranted attention to this day.

As anyone who has seen Caucau play this season will testify, he is at least 10KG overweight. In his defence, he did miss the entire pre-season and start of the season this year with what Agen accept was a serious illness. His surplus weight this season doesn't seem to have hampered him at all however, in fact he has turned in a string of man of the match displays.

His ability to cover ground (We're talking length of the pitch ground) at insane speed while looking like he is cruising is astonishing. When you add his ridiculously high skill level and agility into a mix with his raw athleticism, that's when the sparks fly. Despite his immense bulk and ability to break the 3rd and 4th tackle at will in a straight line he has a quite breathtaking step and jink in his armoury. At times he looks like the most lithe and flowing exponent of broken field running I've ever seen.

Another facet of the game he excels in is ball handling skills. His offload for the opening try in last Friday night's Heineken Cup game against Gloucester (see Video below for a poor recording of it) as he hit the deck would remind you of the agility and innate ability of a cat to land gracefully. To top it all off he has the tactical nous to adapt his game to whatever is put in front of him in terms of defence as anyone who witnessed his quite brilliant Contepomi-esque chip and catch try against Leinster recently will know all too well. The Heineken Cup competition will be worse off without him in the knock-out stages.

At least we can hopefully look forward (unless you're Welsh or Australian) to his appearance in the World Cup next September. He has the ability to be player of that tournament, and I for one would not bet against Fiji upsetting the Welsh or the Wallabies in that pool if Fiji can build a half structured team around Caucau.

As for the Irish Provinces over the past weekend, well it's strange times. Ulster have had what initially seemed like a very promising European season terminated early. Most of the headline players there seem to have continued to develop well as they did last year, yet the team seems to lack the moral fibre as a whole when it is really put up to them, particularly away from home. Their defeat to London Irish away was particularly galling as they were still on track to qulify for the knockout stages of the competition at that juncture. Home defeat at fortress Ravenhill by a very capable Llanelli side this weekend was the final kick in the teeth for a European season that saw the rug pulled out from under their feet.

Leinster are still fluttering their eyelashes at the neutral supporter in a most seductive manner, whether they'll be up for sealing the deal remains to be seen. Personally I backed them to win the competition this season before it started at a price of 14/1 and I'm still quite happy with my bet. Victory away to Gloucester next weekend should ensure a route to a semi-final berth at least. I've been extremely impressed with Bernard Jackman this season, he has really brought some punch to the Leinster tight five unit in loose play. I just hope his arm will hold up under tough examination at line-out time at the business end of the tournament. New Southern Hemisphere signing Stanley Wright who has been propping at Jackman's side has done a good job of dispelling doubts around his calibre when he initially arrived. Again a very dynamic force in the loose and seems to have gained a steady foothold in scrummaging. Will Green on the opposite side also brings a wealth of experience and knowledge to the front row which will come in handy later in the competition.

D'Arcy and Horgan's form so far this season and particularly in recent weeks has been unreasonably good. It's a joy to watch sport played by players so on top of their form. Horgan was recently named in rugby365's World XV for 2006 (along with compatriots Leamy and O'Connell) in a team that found no berth for Sitiveni Sivivatu or Joe Rockococo. It is Horgan's ability to contribute so much when coming off his wing looking for work and his handling skills (did you see _that_ pass this weekend) learned from time spent in the centre that sets him apart. Provided Contepomi has learned from his tragic and pitifully public mental breakdown in last year's semi-final, this Leinster team has the goods to go all the way.

As for Munster, well they're in the unusual position of welcoming English opposition to Thomond Park in the final group game of the Heineken Cup without their backs completely to the wall. I have a funny feeling about this match due to Munster already being qualified (of course there's still a lot to play for in terms of a 'home' quarter final) and the eerie atmosphere that could be produced owing to it being the old Thomond's last Heineken Cup Battle Royale. Everyone knows their unenviable home record in the Heineken Cup will come to an end some day, I suggest they will need to be extra vigilant next weekend to ensure they don't spoil it this season. Having said that, I take nothing away from their win away to Bourgoin which was achieved despite playing quite badly. The switched on Bourgoin team scalped Biarritz in the french domestic competition only the previous week and unusually for the Heineken Cup it was the switched on Bourgoin which Munster met head on this weekend. Despite this, and despite their own bad performance Munster came away with a win, and were centimeteres from a bonus point winning try at the end. That's the type of situation habitual winners come out of regularly in any sport.

I wouldn't be too worried about that performance in hindsight though, the dual absences of the invaluable Halstead and Leamy (well he was there in body, but at about 50% fitness) left Munster with very little in the way of punch up the centre. Wallace notably took on more ball than I've seen him do in a while to help make up for this.

As for the 'Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage', having watched quite a few Magners League, Heineken Cup and Guinness Premiership games since January 1st, to my mind it's had an immediate positive impact. I haven't seen any stats analysed so far but I believe I've seen less resets, more stable scrums and an increased empahsis from front rows on technique rather than brute force. Well done IRB. If they now couple this with the very recent directive to referees to cut out feeding at the scrum we could see the scrum elevated to a much more interesting part of the game.

Rupeni Caucaunibuca, Agen versus Gloucester last Friday night

Brian O'Driscoll gives every underage coach nightmares as kids everywhere try to emulate the "self-pass" at every opportunity, Leinster -v- Ulster, 1st Jan 2007.

tags: rugby, Caucaunibuca

Published by Paul.