As previously noted in this series, Fox’s biscuits are unashamedly bourgeois. While Classics may feign sophistication with their royal blue packaging, the Millionaire’s Caramel Shortcake are the real thing. Just read the name, it contains the word ‘Millionaire’. A biscuit with the word ‘Millionaire’ in it. I’m sure if you popped round to John Magnier’s gaff you’d be getting these biscuits served with a cup of this coffee. You also get the feeling that they are the kind of biscuit Saddam Hussein would have eaten in one of his presidential palaces.

Any biscuit with such an outrageous title must be able to back it up. Again, Fox’s don’t disappoint. I must admit that I have not tried these biscuits a great many times due to their exorbitant cost. Any time I have, however, they have delivered immense pleasure. The construction of this biscuit is quite unique and difficult to explain. The shortcake is roughly 1.5 inches by 1 inch with what can only be described as a trough running through the length of it. This trough is filled with delectable caramel and the whole lot is then thickly covered with Fox’s inimitable chocolate.

At this stage you’ve probably guessed that these biscuits do not represent good value for money. In fact, they are about as economically viable as a Catholic church in Iran. There are only 8 in the box but you wouldn’t eat 8 of them like you would Toffypops. As you would expect, consistency is not an issue with a biscuit of such a grandiose nature. The biggest disappointment with these biscuits is their dunkability. Ironically, it is the mighty Toffypop, the working-class hero, which exposes this flaw. The light chocolate covering on Toffypops means that a dunk will melt the toffee. This results in an orgasmic ooze of shortcake, toffee and chocolate. Millionaire’s, however, are a casualty of their own decadence. The thick chocolate and robust shortcake act as a barrier to the caramel inside which means the dunking is a rather vapid experience.

Value for Money: 1.5/10

Dunkability: 4/10

Consistency: 9.5

If it were a car it would be a: Hummer SUV (So expensive and so wrong)

Overall Verdict: 7/10
These biscuits give you a taste of what it's like to be a millionaire but their extravagance is their ultimate downfall.

tags:[Millionaire's Caramel Shortcake]

Published by El Commandant P.