Cadbury are a well established confectionary giant who oddly have not enjoyed such notoriety in the biscuit world. Their greatest asset is their chocolate which would seem concomitant with dominance in a market which is slightly less violent than the drug and arms trades. Not so. Ridiculous excuses for biscuits such as the paltry 'Fingers' collection (basically insipid little miserly sticks of biscuit covered in chocolate) have made them the laughing stock of people in the know. Other forays into the luxury market have produced mixed results. But now Cadbury, as if a sleeping giant awakening from a lengthy slumber, are beginning to have an impact. Leading the charge are the Chocolate Shortcakes.

Opting to purchase a hitherto unknown biscuit can be a thrilling, yet frightful, experience. You may stumble upon a gem that will fit nicely into your ever increasing armoury of possible purchases. On the other hand, you may be left crying into your tea because you fell for another gimmick like those immoral orange + chocolate Hobnobs. Fortunately, I was not disappointed after purchasing these Chocolate Shortcakes. They take on the regular chocolate-on-top/biscuit-on-bottom (COT/BOB) construction which is so commonplace these days. What Cadbury have managed to do, however, is find a shortcake that sits well with their chocolate.

One advantage for the consumer of the COT/BOB construction is the virtual guarantee of good value for money. COT/BOB demands relatively little space and so manufacturers always pack them in rolls. In terms of consistency, I don’t know if I can give an honest assessment at this point. To ascertain the consistency of a biscuit you need to down at least 100 packs. I am nowhere near this figure yet but must admit I do begin to lose count after the 50 mark. Suffice it to say that thus far they are showing promise, particularly in the quality of the shortcake which can so often be a complete nightmare for other biscuits. The one gripe I would have with these biscuits is their poor dunking performance. Their size excludes them from a dip in an espresso cup. They don’t fair much better in a cup of tea. The shortcake is tighter than a nun’… is quite impervious to taking on any liquid which is a real shame because the chocolate reacts quite well to the heat.

Finally, I couldn’t let a chocolate manufacturer off without addressing the ethical issues surrounding the trade. Apart from being pressured to provide fair-trade alternatives, Cadbury were the architects of one of the most absurd marketing campaigns of the 21st Century. They wanted to help kids get fitter so they decided to give away free sports gear. Capital idea, I hear you say. Not when you have to eat 170 bars of the stuff in order to win a volleyball. Even worse, a cricket set would set you back a whopping 2,730 bars. I cannot think of a better way to reach your maximum weight than eating 2,730 bars of chocolate and then going out for a spot of fielding on the cricket grounds.

Value for Money: 8/10

Dunkability: 3/10

Consistency: A tentative 7.5

If it were a car it would be a: Saab 93

Overall Verdict: 7/10
A good effort by Cadbury to gain a foothold in the market but that shortcakes needs to relax on the density.


tags:[Cadbury Chocolate Shortcake]

Published by El Commandant P.