The royal blue livery on the packet says it all: Fox’s Classics are a top-shelf biscuit who wouldn’t be seen dead with the likes of a pack of McVities Digestives. However, looks can be deceiving and upon closer inspection Fox’s Classics’ emphasis on style exposes their lack of substance.

Simply put, Classics are a round, flat biscuit with a honeycomb base and chocolate top. As soon as the words ‘chocolate’ and ‘biscuit’ come together experts tend to concentrate on the quality of the chocolate. Poor quality chocolate can ruin a biscuit in the same manner as Kandee tomato ketchup can ruin a plate of chips. Fortunately for Fox’s they have no trouble in this department. The chocolate is both generous and perfectly suited to the honeycomb base.

Classics fair well in the value for money department as well. Wily biscuit purchasers will be well aware that buying them in one of the major supermarkets will ensure a good price and they are also frequently on special offer. However, the corner shops tend to outrageously inflate the price presumably because they feel they can dupe their customers into thinking they are buying a biscuit that the upper-classes are eating.

Classics have no problems with consistency either. While they can at times suffer from a lack of perfect roundness this does not in any way detract from the eater’s pleasure. The biscuit part is never over/under baked and the chocolate covering never fails to reach the circumference of each honeycomb base. One of this biscuit’s biggest weak points is its dunkability. Professionals will know, to the nearest nanosecond, how long you can dunk a biscuit before compromising its constitution. The ‘point-of-no-return’ for Classics, however, is extremely difficult to gauge, even for an expert.On the plus side, a successful dunk i.e. one which maximises liquid intake without losing shape, can be tremendously rewarding.

My biggest gripe with Fox’s Classics, as I alluded to earlier, is more to do with their emphasis on style over substance. I found this image on their website.

I'm assuming it's aimed at their sales reps and marketing staff. For anyone who can't read the small print it states "the logotype designed to communicate movement, femininity and creativity". My point is that any company that desires to create movement (moving where?) and femininity (sexist) in their logo obviously doesn't give a fuck about the biscuits.



Value for Money: 8/10

Dunkability: 5/10

Consistency: 9

If it were a car it would be a: Hyundai Sonata (pretension of wealth)

Overall Verdict: 7/10
A well-priced biscuit taking advantage of that under-utilised killer combo of honeycomb and chocolate.Dunking can often be a messy affair, however, and their branding strategy betrays their contempt for the art that is biscuit baking.

Next Week: Toffypops.








tags:[The Biscuit Tin]

Published by El Commandant P.