Grannysellers make the best TV but lousy human beings
Have you been watching the latest series of The Apprentice?**. Much like Big Brother, its cast consists of the sort of characters that you'd keep away from your personal space with a big stick. (You'd poke them nonetheless). You never see homely types on this show though. The producers' preferred profile for these contestants seems to be that of a 25 to 35 year-old city-dwelling, self-obsessed, money-loving backstabber. And boy do they have 14 suitable desperadoes this time around.
Despite these characters having lots of business experience in the city, the tasks set for them are quite straightforward; the first week saw them selling fruit. So, while the women were busy juggling melons in front of their chests, the boys were busy "merchandising" and selling from their stall. (Since when did putting a few apples on a stall become “merchandising”?) Not surprisingly, the double-entendres worked a charm and the girls won.
The best part comes at the end of the show when one contestant gets it in the neck from his mercurial and slimy teammates. Just to watch these people in action makes my toes curl, but in a good way. I know I'm not like them and I glean immense satisfaction from that.
The Syed character is some piece of work. Straight-faced, he tried to convince his teammates that their team should be called "A-Team" or "Winners". His obnoxious demeanour makes him the ideal graduate from the Michael O'Leary school of thought.
What some of these perverse individuals need to do is spend time away from the city where they drink grande skinny mochas. If they went to the countryside they'd soon be told what's what. Because if there's one thing you learn from growing up there, it's humility. You're never too far away from someone who's willing to give you a proper dose of reality if you are inclined to have "notions" about yourself. For every one of us who thinks our shit doesn't smell, there's always a countryside dweller who'll give it to you straight and tell you how much it stinks.
[End of incoherent rant]
** For those of you living under a rock for the past year or so, this TV show is a competition whereby 14 people fight for the chance to earn a six-figure salary and become Alan Sugar's apprentice.
Published by Colm.
Despite these characters having lots of business experience in the city, the tasks set for them are quite straightforward; the first week saw them selling fruit. So, while the women were busy juggling melons in front of their chests, the boys were busy "merchandising" and selling from their stall. (Since when did putting a few apples on a stall become “merchandising”?) Not surprisingly, the double-entendres worked a charm and the girls won.
The best part comes at the end of the show when one contestant gets it in the neck from his mercurial and slimy teammates. Just to watch these people in action makes my toes curl, but in a good way. I know I'm not like them and I glean immense satisfaction from that.
The Syed character is some piece of work. Straight-faced, he tried to convince his teammates that their team should be called "A-Team" or "Winners". His obnoxious demeanour makes him the ideal graduate from the Michael O'Leary school of thought.
What some of these perverse individuals need to do is spend time away from the city where they drink grande skinny mochas. If they went to the countryside they'd soon be told what's what. Because if there's one thing you learn from growing up there, it's humility. You're never too far away from someone who's willing to give you a proper dose of reality if you are inclined to have "notions" about yourself. For every one of us who thinks our shit doesn't smell, there's always a countryside dweller who'll give it to you straight and tell you how much it stinks.
[End of incoherent rant]
** For those of you living under a rock for the past year or so, this TV show is a competition whereby 14 people fight for the chance to earn a six-figure salary and become Alan Sugar's apprentice.
Published by Colm.
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