Railing against incompetence
One of the most jarring slogans to have been conceived has to be “We’re not there yet, but we’re getting there”. It’s an admission of guilt, an owning up to calamitous ineptitude.
While train journeys from Paris to Lyon (290 miles) take just over 2 hours, the journey from Dublin to Ennis can take up to 3.5 hours covering a distance of just 140 miles.
The train journey from Dublin to Sligo is now slower than it was 100 years ago.
These are just two indictments of the Irish rail system. It is all the more disastrous considering the fact that €2 billion was spent between 1999 and 2004 on improving the service.
While some may tolerate the laughable service, it is much easier to do while seated. Standing between two smelling toilets, while paying almost €50 for the privilege, dramatically reduces this tolerance.
Irish Rail continues their unbelievable denial of their uber-ineptness by allowing their staff to treat customers with contempt. While attempting to purchase a rail ticket with my out-of-date 16-26 card, the ticket vendor saw it an opportune moment to take the largest red scissors he could find and chop it to pieces without explanation.
Some other moments made the return journey equally memorable. After a particularly late night, I sought the refuge of a quiet carriage that would accommodate drool-sleeping. Upon passing a group of deaf and mute people, I spied my opportunity. Lovely sleep, nice comfortable sleep.
Some time later I heard what sounded like a girl being smothered or else a woman in the throes of heightened pleasure. That just-before-waking clouded reasoning left me to thinking that I’d left the DVD player on again and that I was at home asleep in front of the television. Instead, it turned out to be a mute girl in the seats behind me laughing hysterically at some signed one-liners.
After waking up from this disturbance, I noticed a female passenger in the seat next to me reading my paper. "No problem with that", I thought to myself. She appeared to be fixated by one particular article that was recommending facial creams. However, when she attempted to disembark with my paper tucked under her arm I decided to ask her for it back in voluminous tones so that she could be outed for the paper thief that she was in front of all the other passengers. Cue nervous apologies and seething eye movement on her part.
So there are only two requests that I make of Iarnrod Eireann: an efficient train service and the vetting of all passengers to root out Sunday paper thieves.
Published by Colm.
While train journeys from Paris to Lyon (290 miles) take just over 2 hours, the journey from Dublin to Ennis can take up to 3.5 hours covering a distance of just 140 miles.
The train journey from Dublin to Sligo is now slower than it was 100 years ago.
These are just two indictments of the Irish rail system. It is all the more disastrous considering the fact that €2 billion was spent between 1999 and 2004 on improving the service.
While some may tolerate the laughable service, it is much easier to do while seated. Standing between two smelling toilets, while paying almost €50 for the privilege, dramatically reduces this tolerance.
Irish Rail continues their unbelievable denial of their uber-ineptness by allowing their staff to treat customers with contempt. While attempting to purchase a rail ticket with my out-of-date 16-26 card, the ticket vendor saw it an opportune moment to take the largest red scissors he could find and chop it to pieces without explanation.
Some other moments made the return journey equally memorable. After a particularly late night, I sought the refuge of a quiet carriage that would accommodate drool-sleeping. Upon passing a group of deaf and mute people, I spied my opportunity. Lovely sleep, nice comfortable sleep.
Some time later I heard what sounded like a girl being smothered or else a woman in the throes of heightened pleasure. That just-before-waking clouded reasoning left me to thinking that I’d left the DVD player on again and that I was at home asleep in front of the television. Instead, it turned out to be a mute girl in the seats behind me laughing hysterically at some signed one-liners.
After waking up from this disturbance, I noticed a female passenger in the seat next to me reading my paper. "No problem with that", I thought to myself. She appeared to be fixated by one particular article that was recommending facial creams. However, when she attempted to disembark with my paper tucked under her arm I decided to ask her for it back in voluminous tones so that she could be outed for the paper thief that she was in front of all the other passengers. Cue nervous apologies and seething eye movement on her part.
So there are only two requests that I make of Iarnrod Eireann: an efficient train service and the vetting of all passengers to root out Sunday paper thieves.
Published by Colm.
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